What I Treat
Relationship Patterns
Therapy in Jersey and online for relationship patterns that keep repeating — CAT for the reciprocal roles underneath. Individual work, not couples.
Typical course: 16-24+ sessions
Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) is an evidence-based, relational therapy for the patterns that repeat across relationships and time.
ACAT accreditation is how a CAT therapist's competence in delivery is recognised.
What keeps happening
Some difficulties aren’t really about the other person — they’re about a pattern that repeats. The same kind of relationship, the same argument in different clothes, the same place you end up no matter who you’re with. Those patterns are usually old: ways of relating you learned early, that made sense then and run on autopilot now.
How CAT works with this
This is what Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) is built for. We name the patterns as reciprocal roles — the paired positions you move between (controlling and controlled, say, or caring and neglected) — and trace where they came from. Early on I write you a reformulation letter: an account, in your own story, of how the pattern formed and what keeps it going. From there we map your specific loops on a diagram you can use to spot them as they happen, and work out the exits — the points where a different move becomes possible.
What this isn’t
This is individual therapy, not couples work — we work on your side of the patterns, which is the part you can actually change. And to be straight with you: for this kind of difficulty, CBT usually isn’t the right tool. These patterns sit deeper than a present-day thought-and-behaviour loop, and CAT is the approach that reaches them.
What treatment looks like
CAT is collaborative — the reformulation and the diagram give the work a clear shape early on, and the later sessions are about practising the exits until they’re yours. Most courses run from 16 to 24 sessions, and can continue on an ongoing basis where the patterns are long-standing. It isn’t instant, and I won’t pretend it is. More on how I work.
Common questions
My partner won’t come — can this still help? Yes. This is individual work, and changing your side of a pattern changes the pattern.
Isn’t it disloyal to look at my own part? It’s the opposite — it’s where your leverage is. This isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about finding the loop you can step out of.
What if the pattern is with family, not a partner? Same work. Reciprocal roles show up with parents, colleagues, and friends as much as with partners.
Is online as good as in person? For relational pattern work, yes — many people find it easier to reflect from their own space.
Not sure yet?